Writers have familars too

So attached to my writing area, our 16 year old cat Keats, has his own blanket at the rear of my computer now to avoid wars over space. Now that it is coming into winter and cooler weather for Brisbane, he positions himself near the computer exhaust to bask in the hot air that comes out. There's no flies on him!

A Tree Dies in Oriel Park

When we lived in Clayfield I was pregnant. In the final months of my pregnacy I would daily walk down Alexandra Street as far as Oriel Park and then back to our little apartment. When Dylan Oriel Park became our 'local'. It's a beautiful big open green park with a fantastic fenced in playground. We had Dylan's 100 days celebration and his naming day/1st birthday there. Lots of very happy memories have this park at their centre.

Yesterday we were running early for the airport to pick Dave up, so we stopped in at Oriel Park for a play. I was dismayed to discover one of the trees dying. Actually it's not dying ... it's all but dead and awaiting removal

It made me wonder what had happened to it? There have been cases in recent years of most notably on the Sunshine Coast, of residents poisoning trees to gain access to waterviews. Some trees that have been poisoned are hundreds of years old. The water views increase the value of a home - but at what cost?

I'm hoping someone did not poison this tree - that it is just its time, the cycle of life. It left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth as we were leaving, to know that next time we go there the tree will probably be gone, dulled the bouyed up mood that I'd had all day about having Dave home for the first time in two weeks.

What memorable landmarks (natural or manmade) have you lost through natural processes or progress?

Reclaiming Sex After Birth

I was on the phone to one of my closest friends in late 2006. We were talking about sex, and what birthing and becoming mothers had meant to that dimension of our lives. It had been on my mind a lot, and I was starting to seek out the voices and experiences of other women. At the time I was the editor of Down to Birth and Karen ‘dared’ me to do a whole edition around the issue of sex after birth. Never one to back down from an intellectual dare I said ‘yes’.

In first six months of 2007 I spoke to lots of women, but the one most passionate about writing about this issue was my close friend Annie Evett. Not only did she write her own personal experiences but sought out friends and work colleagues in person or via email to collect their experiences. She created spaces in which women felt comfortable and safe to share their experiences with others, opening the dialogue and breaking down the silence taboo around the topic.

In February 2008 the ‘Sex After Birth’ edition was birthed and immediately struck a chord with all who read it. I still get emails now with comments about this issue even though I am not longer editor of Down to Birth.

The issue provided a forum for women to speak honestly and openly about their experiences of sex after having children. They wrote about how good sex could be, and how difficult and painful it could be. They spoke about how sex worked to polarise their relationship, or to strengthen and deepen it. They spoke about the challenges of marrying the sexual and nurturing aspects of themselves. The issues they faced were complicated by emotional and psychological changes in themselves in addition to changes in relationship dynamics with themselves and their partners

Kerri Witt, who is the technical and business whiz behind our eBook project, felt strongly enough about this subject to approach Annie Evett and I after a business brunch to suggest we create an eBook with the articles we had already written. Kerri is yet to have children, but the amount of disinformation and horror stories on the internet disturbed and shocked her – to the point of commenting, ‘I don’t think I want to have kids now.’

When Annie was researching her original article for Down to Birth – she was appalled to discover how the subject was either glossed over or completely omitted from all the popular and best selling parenting and relationship books, even Dr Ruth’s “Guide to Sex”. Creating 'Reclaiming Sex After Birth' is our humble effort to redress that void.

In creating this eBook we are not seeking to fix, lecture or take the moral high ground. This isnot a ‘how to’ eBook. We want to dispell and defuse the deeply embedded belief that women should ‘Just get over themselves and get back on the job’ when it comes to sex - it is far more complex than that. We want women to stop carrying the guilt that it is ‘their fault’ that a couple’s sex life is not like it once was. This is unfair. It is our desire to show that many assumptions around initiating and maintaining a sex life after birth (such as the six week marker) are either erroneous, simplistic or both.

Our intention is to create a resource which is easily and readily accessible, that gathers in one place, a collection of personal experiences and wisdom as a beginning point to reclaim sex
after birth. The women who share their stories here are experts, in the truest sense of the word – wise through experience. We hope that you go on to open dialogue with friends and family
members about sex in this vulnerable period in couples’ lives, after reading this eBook. We also hope all women and men who read this, will understand that where they are currently on their journey, wherever that may be, they are not alone. And that they need not remain stuck there.
That each journey although it is unique,carries elements similar to every other journey. It is our sincerest wish that this strikes a chord with everyone who reads it - just as that original edition
of Down to Birth did.

'Reclaiming Sex After Birth' is due for birthing July 1st and will be available exclusively here.

Musical Musings #3

Musical Musings is a weekly music based writing meme to inspire and support writers of short fiction. Each Tuesday a prompt will be posted and you will have a week to create something (see the guidelines below). Reading others' work and commenting in a critical but constructive manner is part of the writing process and our growth as writers. All participants are encouraged to actively be a part of this each week.

This week's prompt

Combine the elements of Voodoo and Cowboy to create your short fiction. Inspired by the Cat Empire's "Voodoo Cowboy" from their 2007 So Many Nights album.

How to be part of the writing adventure:

1. Check each Tuesday for a new musical prompt – a link to the post will appear at the top right hand of the blog to help you navigate.
2. Write between 1000-2000 words of short fiction in any genre.
3. Editing is welcome and encouraged.
4. On Monday, post your story to your blog.
5. Return here to link your post and leave a comment.
6. Visit other’s posts and leave constructive comments.

Taurus Dark Moon

Today was a dark moon, ebbing energy, in Taurus ... and I went on a cleaning rampage in the kitchen. I even took down the curtains, washed, ironed and re-hung them. When I told Dave what I had done - he asked if I was ill. No - I'm just guilty about the fact that I haven't done ANY house work since he's been in the Northern Territory - nor done much cooking. So in addition to playing Sadie in the kitchen, I also cooked up a pasta bake and some scotch broth (that will be all the better for having sat in the kitchen over night!)

But the big bang for the day came just after I woke up - switched the computer on a discovered an email discourse that had gone on while I as blissfully asleep (early) last night. Let me back track for a moment though.

Sunday Annie and I went to a world building master class run by the Queensland Writers Centre. It was something that we almost didn't go to - got our dates mixed up etc - then discovered this error on Friday, rang up immediately and booked. The masterclass was held by Sonny Whitelaw. This was a huge step for me as a writer - to go along to a masterclass in a genre I know very little about. For my NaNo this year I want to explore the world and the stories that I've briefly presented in my Adam & Eve short stories. To do this I realised I had to know how to build the world in which they live in - which is set about 30 years from now. Thus - I decided to do the workshop.

We got an opportunity to take along 10 pages of manuscript for Sonny to read - which I did rather sheepishly because my 'manuscript' is a collection of four short stories that don't really flow in any order. And upon reading the first few pages - I realise just how far my writing has come since January this year when I wrote the first installment. But I did hand in my work for comment.

The masterclass blew my mind - so much stuff to consider ... but at the same time, so many wonderful story possibilities. The thing that struck me the most, was Sonny telling us how little sci fi nowdays explores social themes and issues, like old school sci fi did. This allowed me to say at our second break, how Annie and I weren't sci fi writers - per se - but we have some themes and issues that we wanted to explore and we needed to create worlds in which to do so.

Last night, while at Annie's, the phone went and it was Sonny. Good news - we don't write crap! That was the biggest thing I thought that I could have heard. She suggested that Annie and I consider collaborating - that our styles are very similar and the issues we want to explore are on the same path (there's no suprises there) ... our strengths and weaknesses balance out ... if we could get over our egos. EGO? I don't think I've had one of those since I pushed a baby out into this world. Motherhood doesn't leave much room for ego. So to collaborate we're not going to have to climb over our egos, or deflate them, in order to do it.

With this wonderful news hanging in the air, and the invitation for us to use Sonny's name when we were submitting work to some sci fi magazines she suggested ... you wouldn't think it could get better than that. It wasn't a matter of feeling like 'I'd arrived' as a writer... it was desperately needed validation (because you don't realise just how much you need that validation until you get it) of myself as a writer, and my abilities to write within the sci fi genre (as any of you who are regular readers of my blog and short stories - that's not really the direction my writing has taken).

And it did get better. While I slept - Sonny emailed an editor friend of hers in the States as a means of introducing Annie and I, saying she believed that we had the makings of good writers. Glad to know someone believes in me. I found out this when I logged in and downloaded my email this morning. It's wonderful - but it drags up for me a whole raft of issues that I have - best explored through my morning pages for the time being.

Among them is 'But I dont write sci-fi' - apparently I have the capacity to. It's just getting myself onboard to believe it.

With the dark moon hanging around - I should bid goodbye to all those doubts I have ... and welcome in a whole swath of new beliefs tomorrow ... that don't begin 'I can' ... but with 'I will!'

Musical Musings #2 Monday 2nd June

Musical Musings is a weekly music based writing meme to inspire and support writers of short fiction. Each Tuesday a prompt will be posted and you will have a week to create something (see the guidelines below).

Reading others' work and commenting in a critical but constructive manner is part of the writing process and our growth as writers. All participants are encouraged to actively be a part of this each week.

THIS WEEK’S PROMPT:

Pink Floyd's 'Another Brick in The Wall' is this week's song. Use it in any way you see fit to create your piece of fiction.

How to be part of the writing adventure:

1. Check each Tuesday for a new musical prompt – a link to the post will appear at the top right hand of the blog to help you navigate.
2. Write between 1000-2000 words of short fiction in any genre.
3. Editing is welcome and encouraged.
4. On Monday, post your story to your blog.
5. Return here to link your post and leave a comment.
6. Visit other’s posts and leave constructive comments.

Sorry for the delay in getting the link post up. I had internet issues yesterday ... better late then never. And thanks for being a part of Musical Musings.

Story telling

This is my 200th post! Pretty exciting stuff. I've decided to revisit, as part of a new eBook project on reclaiming sex after birth, my Summer editorial from Down to Birth. Happy two hundred blog posts to me and may the light continue to shine the path less travelled ....

Story telling is as old as antiquity, as old as both written and spoken language. I believe, it is one of the building blocks of what makes us quintessentially human. At the Goddess conference last year, I literally took to heart the charge given to us, to go out, each of us and tell our stories as women. This seemed to be a truly divine and special charge. I was a bit slow to realise that this really isn’t such a new thing for me.

I belonged for four years, to a community of women who regularly, boldly, honestly and bravely shared their stories as women. Many women from this community are still close and special friends. I also edited for three years a magazine that is unique for regularly printing homebirth stories, in a climate that projects and promotes birth as a fearful and dangerous medical event. It shouldn’t have seemed such an important task to ‘go out and share my story’ – but it was, it was my invitation to leave the world in which I felt safe and comfortable and to embark on a journey as a writer.

Julia Cameron, author of ‘The Artist’s Way’ says that sharing truth is like shining the light into the darkness. I have discovered that not everyone wants you, much less applauds your efforts, to shine the light of truth - not everyone wants you to tell your story.

It’s tough because those closest to us, their stories are intimately entwined with our own and you can’t help but share parts of their stories when you tell your own. It is inevitable that you will hold up a mirror to those around you when you share your story – what they see is their reflection. Often what people do is project what they see back onto you, and this is where I believe we become unstuck. When sometime strikes a chord in us, or we feel challenged, wounded or hut, we need to look into ourselves to see what it is, rather than seek to lash out. I’ve been there, and I have done it. Now I pause before I react to try and understand what it is in ME, not in THEM that I'm interacting with.

I understand now why we have created mythology, fables and fairy tales. In fiction there is a safety to share wisdom and insights without upsetting others. I also appreciate why it is so damn difficult to share our stories as women and why it essential, despite the opposition, that we must tell our stories. My fiction is steeped in my own life fiction – there is a little or a lot of me, my life, my trials and tribulations in everything that I write. Those close to me will see whatis fiction, what is fantasy and what is the place between.

There is a safety in writing fiction to explore the places less traveled, and as my friend Catherine pointed out, there is also a safety in reading fiction, to explore both the dark and light places. As writers, when we shine our light, we have no idea how far that small beam will shine or just what it will light on it's way.

(Revised extract from The Down to Birth Summer editorial ‘Sex After Birth)