transcending

"No spirit guide, teacher or philospher is higher than you. There is nothing higher than you."
Marshall N Lever
From the book 'Bag of Jewels'

My blogging is unpredictable - I'm either prolific or absent. I don't seem to do very well at the middle ground on constant. So here I am ... back in what will probably be prolific mode for a few weeks. No wonder I struggle to maintain an audience! It's OK though ... I need to rise above the expectations on put on myself ... because I am rarely person enough to live up to them (even a demi goddess would be pressed!)

When I completed the Artist Way my contract for the next 90 days included blogging every day (and taking morning walks) I never got back into the swing of walking, and my blogging is here and there. Thankfully I have kept the momentum going with my morning pages. I understand now what Julia Cameron says about them being a place to rest on the page. I find that when it's time to really search through an issue that I am having, I come to rest on the blog page. There is a strange sense of peace and ease here ... and I know that the universe will send me what I need when I put it out here.

The quote at the start of this post, is more relevant that I probably would care to admit. Thursday I had my kinesiology appointment. What came up for me was that I have blockages concerning a certain area of my life. These issues are not linked to hormones or primal drives (as I might have hoped), instead they belong to emotional and intellectual blockages. Having removed the energetic block it is now up to me to transcend my beliefs ... it's up to me to explore my archetypes and to create a life that is abundant, rather than a life that is neatly pigeon holed.

This would have seemed monumental even a few months ago ... but I feel as though I am finally ready for the challenge (after three and a half years). I know that I can look inwards and outwards, that I can be both brave and savvy to walk this new path. I feel it strongly with the Winter Solstice approaching. There is an urgent need to do away with old beliefs, old patterns, old habits - to release them and allow new energy in. It's time for me to thoroughly and honestly explore my ideas around being a mother and a lover - to allow me to be both. At the moment I seem to be only abe to be one.

So I remind myself ... that there is nothing higher than me, and I can transcends the beliefs that I have created in this world. If I fashioned the cage, then I can also fashion the key that unlocks it.

On the move

I've had to rethink what I conceptualise a miracle as - I think. I believe now that a miracle is something that you dont need to understand in order for it to work.

Today I had my much anticipated appointment with my kinesiologist. I told her the story to date with the boils (she's been my healer for the past five months and travelled the rather intense journey) and she nodded through it, occassionally taking some notes. At the end she looked at me and asked me what I wanted to do today (later she told me, that listening to my story she wondered what else there was?) I suggested that she just have a look, perhaps ask my body if there was more ... because for the life of me I didn't know what I was missing. I was ready to let it all go.

After investigating, Jacqui told me that there was an 'energy implant' along the liver line, which included the area of thigh where the boil is. She said it was a hanger on from a past life,that it wasn't of this world and it was holding/blocking my body from releasing everything. This is the second time she's gone after 'energy' in my body that's not meant to be there. Pressing down on the point on my thigh, after a while there was a sharp pain in my boil and I felt something shift.

When I went to the toilet after our session (and the ensuing chat afterwards) I felt down to see what was up with the boil - and you guessed it, it had already begun to shift. Instead of being a very hard lump it had softened and flatten ... incredible!! It was the first time in eight days that it had felt different ... and my energy had returned as well. Once the energy implant had shifted, Jacqui worked on reconnecting me to my inner beauty (that antidote for all of that negative feeling aboutbeing worthless etc)

So now, as I head off to bed ... the lump, flattened and softened as it has, has risen up. I've also had a terrible pain in my abdomen and really feel like stuff is moving through me. That moment that seems to linger before you body has a huge purge ... I'm waiting!!

I've also been taking liquid silica since this morning ... many thanks to the friend who gifted me the referral to silica (I can't remember now who it was that suggested it) It's exciting to be entering into this final phase, the dissolution on this rotation of my spiral journey.

Thanks to all the friends and wise women out there who gifted me wisdom, remedies or their ear to listen to my woes. Hopefully I wont need to write more on this topic, except to say I have learnt much and I'm so grateful for a change in attitude towards illness or disease that allowed me to travel this journey - rather than simply medicated it and missing the lesson in it all. Thanks for sharing it with me.