Friday, May 15, 2009

Unsent Letters #5: I'm sorry

It's all my fault. I'm sorry John.

I was talking to Larissa today. You'd be proud of me - I actually picked up the phone. No screening calls and no procrastinating about calling someone back.

I told her it was all my fault. She drove straight around here. She says it is not my fault and I'm not to think like that. I'm suspicious though. Larissa hugged me. When was the last time she hugged me - ever?

I kept on though. I said it was my idea ... I encouraged you to do ... and this is where we ended up. She was quiet then. I know she wanted to say something but you know Larissa. What would she say. It wasn't something you could just joke about, fob off with a silly smile. She hugged me again.

It must be my fault. Larissa never hugs. It was like she was saying yes it was your fault but you're still OK with me.

Should I ask her if that was the case John?

I want it to be my fault ... but I don't want to have to be responsible for the guilt and pain. I want to say sorry - but first I have to admit I did wrong?

Help me!

Sissy xxxx

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