Marshall N Lever
From the book 'Bag of Jewels'
My blogging is unpredictable - I'm either prolific or absent. I don't seem to do very well at the middle ground on constant. So here I am ... back in what will probably be prolific mode for a few weeks. No wonder I struggle to maintain an audience! It's OK though ... I need to rise above the expectations on put on myself ... because I am rarely person enough to live up to them (even a demi goddess would be pressed!)
When I completed the Artist Way my contract for the next 90 days included blogging every day (and taking morning walks) I never got back into the swing of walking, and my blogging is here and there. Thankfully I have kept the momentum going with my morning pages. I understand now what Julia Cameron says about them being a place to rest on the page. I find that when it's time to really search through an issue that I am having, I come to rest on the blog page. There is a strange sense of peace and ease here ... and I know that the universe will send me what I need when I put it out here.
The quote at the start of this post, is more relevant that I probably would care to admit. Thursday I had my kinesiology appointment. What came up for me was that I have blockages concerning a certain area of my life. These issues are not linked to hormones or primal drives (as I might have hoped), instead they belong to emotional and intellectual blockages. Having removed the energetic block it is now up to me to transcend my beliefs ... it's up to me to explore my archetypes and to create a life that is abundant, rather than a life that is neatly pigeon holed.
This would have seemed monumental even a few months ago ... but I feel as though I am finally ready for the challenge (after three and a half years). I know that I can look inwards and outwards, that I can be both brave and savvy to walk this new path. I feel it strongly with the Winter Solstice approaching. There is an urgent need to do away with old beliefs, old patterns, old habits - to release them and allow new energy in. It's time for me to thoroughly and honestly explore my ideas around being a mother and a lover - to allow me to be both. At the moment I seem to be only abe to be one.
So I remind myself ... that there is nothing higher than me, and I can transcends the beliefs that I have created in this world. If I fashioned the cage, then I can also fashion the key that unlocks it.
3 comments:
This was a great entry to read. Like you I am on and off with the blogging, and am always trying to make excuses why I'm not. You helped me see that I don't need to =) I feel the same way about a lot of your beliefs, which is actually what helped me find your blog in the first place! (I was just searching people interested in "writing" on blogger but your interest in women's power and menstrual mysteries caught my eye too.) I wonder if you've ever read Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup? You might already been well-versed on the topics she discusses but for me reading it as a 24 year old in women's studies class, it was life-changing She goes a lot about the mind/spirit connection to our bodies and health. Good luck with your journey!
I also loved this post. I, like you, am prolific or absent from blogging... mostly absent this year. My daily blogging for this month lasted until June 6! Oh well. I keep trying. I have also realized that I need to write through issues, but I tend not to do it on my blog too much. I still grapple with what the purpose of the blog is if I have to censor myself so much. My morning pages fell by the wayside with all the end of school year activities, but I'm anxious to get back to it. I realized it helped a lot.
I'm interested in your kinesiology reading. I've never heard of that and will google it.
I've been very slowly reading Women Who Run With Wolves, which I believe you recommended. I have found it so rich with ideas that I can only read a couple of pages a night. Then I don't have time to follow up. Thank goodness it's summer.... I have so many ideas going through my head from that book. I'm trying to use it to help me decide what to do career-wise.
Thanks for a great post. Sorry this comment is so long.
Hi Jaime .... yes I own Dr Northrup's Womens Bodies and I really should go back and revisit it. You've answered my internal queries about how you found your way to my site. I'm glad that womens power and mysteries caught your eye. There is so much there to be reclaimed. And I can't be anyone other than who I am ... and I'm sporadic ... so I make the most of it when the energy is there ... and now I'm trying not to beat myself up with the "should be's" when I'm not. The womens studies class you took sounds so interesting - wouldn't it be wonderful if that sort of program was on the curriculum for EVERY teenage girl.
Welcome back Catherine ... it's always fun when you drop by, because I also have a frind Catherine and it takes a good read through to work out who it is that's commenting. Please dont apologise for long comments. I am the queen of them. Kinesiology is awesome ... it works on an energetic level ... along the meridians that acupuncture operates from - but much more as well. Each practioner brings to their practise their own interests and experiences as well. I"ve found it amazing in allowing me to move through things/ phases/thought patterns etc that I've been stuck in probably my entire adult life. And it really was a chance meeting - the two of us. I feel as though the universe intended for us to work together. WWRWW is intense ... I still haven't finished it. It really does need to be read a few pages at a time, or small section at a time, to give yourself a real chance to digest it. Thanks for reminding me that it;s a rich breeding ground for writing. I go to it in moments of writing desperation and use it as an oracle - but I believe it deserves a little more respect than I am paying it at the moment! And good luck with deciding on a career direction and I am glad that I was able to share the recommendation of it with you.
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