Lunar-tics and Nick Earls-speak

The last three full moons have had strong Plutonic influences ... two full moons last month in Scorpio and then yesterday's full moon conjunct Pluto. I'm not sure if it's a new sensitivity to the full moon, or it's the Pluto/Scorpio effect, but the energy has made it almost impossible to settle into sleep.

The last two nights I've given up bed and resettled myself on the couch. It would seem an odd thing to do, when there are at least two other full sized beds in our house. There's something about sleeping on the couch that seperates me from sleep angst and allows me to relax. In the past I've also turned and slept at the other end of the bed, something about a change of scenery that worked as an antidote to insomnia. Well so has been my theory. The couch trick didn't work Tuesday night and but was only slightly more effective last night.

The problem last night was that I must have gone to sleep for a little bit in our bed and then woke up. My whole body ached .. including the soles of my feet. After some tossing and turning, I grabbed two pillows and marched off across the cold wooden floors, bound for the couch. The problem was, that even in that small space of time, my mind had set into creating an internal dialogue in the tone of Nick Earls (I'm currently reading his first novel Zig Zag Street)

Not only am I now suffering from an aching body, strangely aching heels, a fear of not being able to go back to sleep, but I'm now running a comedic commentary about my plight in my head. As I flop on the couch and rearrange the doona (that's left there from the night before) I'm reciting it all back to myself ... or to some other unknown listener? At least I've bought two pillows tonight, that's forethought for you .... why are my heels sore, its like I've been to a rave and I only danced on the back part of my foot all night and that's where I got this weird heel pain from ... the full moon light is seeking me out like daggers between the venetian blinds ... seriously!

Then when I do get to sleep, it's my own nocturnal take on what I'd just read. It's my turn to not sleep in my hotel room, because I'm asleep in another hotel room with someone (in this case it wasn't my boss - I have no idea who it was and there was definitely not sex involved) And thrown in there, at some point in the dream, I'm in a night club (it's nothing like I've even been in, in real life, but I've been to this club before in my dreams) and there's a man there putting make up .. and it all seems quite reasonable. I put on make up too. My eyes are made up in the most vivid, vibrant metallic magenta, in a way that's not possible in real life (because of course the shape of my eyes is different in this dream) When I look in the mirror I have long hair - down to my shoulders and it's dark and curly like my friend Michelle's. I ponder that it's odd - I was certain my hair was short when I arrived. When the dream ends I realise that because I didn't sleep in my hotel room, I've gone home and left everything that I brought in my hotel room - the unslept in hotel room.

Tonight I'm hoping for better - slightly more sensible dreams (yeah right!) and better sleep. Tonight the moon is waning in the the sensible sign of Capricorn ... well grounded and steady. Maybe I wont need to sleep on the couch tonight. I'm dog tired and I have been for days. I'm about to bleed (I've been anticipating it for days now as my rational brain has already taken leave of my body and is set up in the Red Tent waiting for the rest of me to arrive) and I just want to sleep ...

MOON BLOOD: elemental menstruation

“Blood is the connection between the light and the dark ... It carries the soul, as it is the mixture of the feminine and the masculine. It is the seed of life.”
Felicity Wombwell
‘The Goddess Changes’

A woman’s womb is her sacred core. It is the centre from which she physically and metaphorically conceives, nurtures and births her creations. Menstruation is a crucial function of this space – a sacrosanct monthly activity which invites all women to reconnect with their divine selves, both as woman and goddess. This is a time when the inner and outer world is thinly veiled and to cross between is at its easiest.

There is much pleasure and empowerment to be found in celebrating the experience of bleeding each month. Menstruation is what makes us proud and strong, divine and sensual, connected and content women. Yet we are burdened by centuries of shame and embarrassment; pleasure and empowerment have been replaced with pain and disconnection. Estrangement from the natural rhythms and processes of menstruation has bought with it a myriad of menstrual disease. Women have lost their wisdom and their bond of the blood - and they are suffering.

The following is my own interpretation of an elemental experience of menstruation based on Alexandra Pope’s theory that process of menstruation is the most sensitive of our biological process to toxicity. She asserts that when we are exposed to any sort of toxicity or stressor in life, it is expressed as dysfunction in the way in which we bleed (which includes the days leading up to bleeding). My assertion is that shame and disconnection are very real toxins that are unsettling our elemental-balance, poisoning women physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. I believe this is a different paradigm in which to explore our notions and experience of menstrual disease.

FIRE – self will
Fire is the element of creativity, imagination, action and passion. It is our will, our drive and motivation. It’s also considered in the Three World elemental view to represent separateness, sacredness, the unknown and madness. Fire is the red of menstrual blood and also the colour of transformation.

Fire in the negative expression is found in the anger and uncontrollable rage often associated with PreMenstrual Tension (PMT). It is the burning desire to be left alone, when we most acutely feel the lack of boundaries in our lives. Fire is also the irritability that creeps under the skin like small insects and the dissatisfaction with everything, regardless of how perfect life may have seemed that morning. It is the distance that we place between ourselves and our most sacred of biological processes. Alternatively it can manifest as apathy and a lack of motivation (which is different from feeling tired or lethargic) – the ‘I can’t be bothered ….’ or ‘who cares’. It is the literal manifestation of the too much or too little fire in our blood.

Suggestions for reclaiming menstruation through the element of fire:

*Work ritually with anger/irritation/dissatisfaction/apathy. They are pointing you, like a compass, to whatever in your life is not working. Do you need to reset your boundaries? Do you need to find a job that allows you to express your creativity or imagination? Do you need to take a good look at relationships in your life that are not working for you? Write a list of things in your life that you are not happy with, and burn them ceremoniously. Then write a new list, of things that you wish to welcome into your life. Place these on your altar to remind you of the new energy and experiences that you are welcoming into your life.

*Gift yourself a creative project for your bleeding time – is there a creative pursuit that you really love but never have time to do it. You moon time is a perfect time to pamper yourself, your creativity and your imagination.

*Wear a piece of red clothing, a red necklace or burn a red candle

*Use you anger productively - write a letter of protest to your local member of Parliament about the environment, women’s rights or another social justice issue that you are passionate about .

*Work with Pele (awakenings) or Lillith (power)*

AIR – self belief
Air is the element of thought, knowledge and communication. It is the element of our intellect, our inspiration but also our detachment. Our wisdom is bound to the element of air.

Air represents the negative beliefs and thought patterns that we have about menstruation. It is the ideas we have inherited about being cursed, dirty and shameful; the buying into and perpetuation of the patriarchal myths about menstruation and women in general. Additionally it is the emphasis on silence or the sharing of only negative experiences of bleeding. It can manifest physically as a sense of detachment or dislocation with the world. Air is most commonly experienced as forgetfulness.

Suggestions for reclaiming menstruation through the element of air:

* Read books such as the The Wise Wound, Blood, bread & roses: how menstruation created the world, The Wild Genie, Women’s Wisdom Women’s Bodies and Moon Rites and get a different view on menstruation.

* Invite a few friends over for an informal ‘blood circle’ – share your experiences of menstruation, from menarche until now.

* Write down all your negative beliefs around menstruation and replace them with positive ones.

*Work with Maya (illusions) and Minerva (beliefs)

WATER – self love
Water is the element of emotions, feeling and intuition. It is our connection to the cyclic and lunar nature of life – the never ending circle of birth, death and rebirth. It is our menstrual blood. The element of water also embodies dimensions of honour and power in the Three World view. Water is our ability to literally ‘go with the flow.’ Dreams and the experience of the unconsciousness are also connected to the element of water.

Water represents the mood swings and unpredictability that is the flip side of the anger and rage of PMT. It is the depression, the sorrow and tears that are shed. It is best symbolised by the use of tampons, which literally plug the flow of blood from the body, thwarting the flow of power within our body. It is the dishonouring of the most essential part of our womanhood, the hatred that we lavish ourselves through the hatred of our bleeding. The element of water can also manifest as dreams of blood. Water in its most negative manifestation is the manner in which divorce ourselves completely from the process of menstruation pharmacologically by continually taking the Pill, or consenting to injections and implants that stop the cyclic process all together.

Suggestions for reclaiming menstruation through the element of water:

* Use cloth pads and allow yourself to experience the flow of blood from your body. Allow yourself to feel honoured, powerful and loved.

* Consider natural and time honoured methods of contraception that do not interfere with your natural cycles.

* Chart your cycle using a moon diary.

* Consider working with a therapist, in the fields of kinesiology, acupuncture, homeopathy or naturopathy if you feel your extremes of emotions affect your ability to function.

* Relax in a warm scented bath

* Eat roasted sweet potato to help balance out mood swings.

* Mourn and let go of the disappointments of the preceding month. Use a similar ritual as the one detailed in the fire section.

* Keep a dream diary, and note common themes or messages in relation to their place in your cycle.

* Write a list of simple pleasures which you can treat yourself to every day, as a way of saying to yourself ‘I love you’ – but especially in the days before you bleed and while you are bleeding.

* Work with Morgan le Faye (rhythms) and Changing Woman (cycles)

Earth – self nourishment
Earth is the element of grounding, of the real and tangible. It is the element of physical experience – of pain and pleasure. Earth is the element of fertility, nurturing and nourishment. It is the element of sensuality.

Earth is experienced as a feeling of heaviness in the body, of low energy and tiredness. It manifests physically in bloating, breast tenderness, migraines, cramping, back ache and the debilitating pain of bleeding. This is the element also associated with sugar cravings. And it’s where we buy into consumerism and the ultimate dishonouring of our blood. We buy tampons and synthetic, artificially scented sanitary pads that poison our bodies, aggravating our wombs, causing pain and increased bleeding. And then we throw away our blood.

Suggestions for reclaiming menstruation through the element of earth:

* REST! (either before or during your bleeding) when your energy is at its lowest ebb. This is honestly the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your family. One day of nurturing will recharge you for another month and can work to avert the worst of the physical manifestations (such as migraines and debilitating pain – which force your body to stop!)

* Nourish your body with organic, well cooked food – especially lots of protein to counter sugar cravings.

* Make or buy cloth pads and use the soaking water to fertilise and nourish your
garden.

* Use natural forms of pain relief, such as hot packs and essential oils

* If you experience extreme pain during bleeding, considering doing a detox or work with castor oil packs to purge your system of toxins in between moon times (great information is contained in Alexandra Pope’s ‘Wild Genie’ for those who are debilitated by menstrual pain.)

ETHER – spiritual connection
The ether is also called the spirit. To me it is the connection that binds us all together – individually to the Great Creatrix and collectively to each other.

Due to the shrouds of shame and each woman’s ideas of being dirty and cursed by menstruation, the sacred experience of menstruation has been denigrated and disconnected from a spiritual source. It is said during menstruation that the veil that divides us from our inner self is at its thinnest and we can be at our most connected, and I see that this is the same with our connection with the Creatrix if we are willing to explore. Menstruation is an invitation and opportunity to walk and work with Her.

Women were never meant to bleed alone, in obscurity and derision. Any of you who have ever share housed with at least one other woman will know that cycles link up. To me this is a very clear sign post that menstruation is intended to be a social activity, to be done collectively as sacred and important. As a special significant social activity, it is imperative that young girls are initiated into power and pleasure of bleeding at menarche by other women. This is where the quiet revolution begins.

By embracing and exploring the negative expressions of our menstruation, I believe that we are able to move closer to sealing the breech between the light and the darkness. By using the characteristics unique to each of the five elements, I believe we can all find ways to re-channel pleasure and power back into our experiences of bleeding, and to assist in rescuing our most sacred aspect of womanhood. Women need to act now to spark a rebellion against shame and disconnection if they are to reclaim menstruation as precious, sacred and significant. And when they do, each women will again be valued, blessed and powerful.


Published in this month's GAIA newsletter

Acceptance

Today's quote, pulled from my trusty Guide for the Advanced Soul earlier on today - seems to speak to me on numerous levels now .. I guess that true acceptance in one of the practices of authenticity - if you can just be in the moment and not be yearning for the past or the future, then you are being true to yourself. You are accepting, being in the moment is without demands or expectations.

I not only need to accept those around me, forsaking demands and expectations, but I need to practise the same with myself - to allow for less demands, less expectations and more opportunities to just be me - whoever I am in that moment - whether it be good, bad or indifferent.

Having experienced tonight, the true breaking down to the primal me, it was incredibly nurturing to have Dave and Dylan to just accept me as the howling (and oh yes it was primal and raw) mess I was on the kitchen floor, as the welled up rage, frustration and sorrow came spewing out - both literally and metaphorically. I knew it was coming, but I have bee fighting to hold back the flood tides of negative emotions and experiences. I dont think that I have ever cried so hard that I couldn't breathe any longer , like I did tonight on my kitchen floor as dinner popped and bubbled above me. The constriction in my chest was so tight it felt as though my airway was blocked. The anger was so desperate to leave I actually vomitted it up.

Neither Dave nor Dylan tried to fix me, nor tell me to get up and stop being silly - they just sat or stood next to me and allowed me to (finally!) let it all out. There were no offers of tissues, not consoling words - just there presence and witness of me in my terrible glory. Dylan wanted to know later, as I was resting in bed, why I was sad and what was wrong with me - Dave told him simply that I was tired ... and that was probably the whole truth of it. Not just tired physically - tired emotionally and spiritually ... and probably intellectually and psychologically as well. Dylan laid down next to me a little later and told me that he was sure I would be better tomorrow. He's not used to seeing tears from me - but at least he's seen part of the authentic me.

I've been reminded in the most awful of ways what will happen to me if I dont take the time to rest when I bleed - when I don't for one day tell the world to stop so I can get off, and allow myself some time to rest and regenerate. I need to accept it and so does my family and friends. I have learnt that its not rhetoric - its wisdom and its meant to be walked, not just talked.

So I've been to a dark dark place tonight - somewhere I dont go often, but somewhere I obviously have to go from time to time to purge, because I'm not good at allowing the anger and frustration out as it occurs. And, I'm feeling vulnerable, washed out, raw and in a way empty ... it seems there was a lot of anger and bitterness being carried around. They seem to be quite hefty in weight - but I guess anything that is carried in your heart space is.

And I've just been reminded to honour this space that I'm currently in - I rarely allow myself to feel vulnerable or raw. So with grace I shall accept my vulnerability and my rawness, because there is beauty here.

Peace of mind

comes from not wanting

to change others

but by simply accepting them

as they are,

True acceptance

is always without demands

and expectations

- Gerald G Jampolsky -

Love is Letting Fear Go

Image by Alan M Sherwood

Wordless Wednesday: Yoni

Caveing

It's that time of the month when I am being drawn within ... sucked into the vortex of my own being. My energy levels dips out to just about nothing (well enough to just function and no more). My body becomes heavy and I feel as though I am being drawn down into the earth.

This is the time where I wish I could disappear off to my own little cave - or even better, a cave shared with a few other close women friends to enjoy a few days of peace, quiet, and sharing. Sigh! For some reason, even though I have read The Red Tent - I dont desire to be in a tent, I long to be surrounded by the cool, comforting embrace of the rocky earth.

This time normally lucky coincides with a weekend and I can enjoy one whole day of sleeping ... but as its a Tuesday - well that's just not possible. And to make matters worse, its a very strong dark moon all day - so la luna will not be assisting in anyway with energy spurts.

My thoughts turn inwards, despite the best effort to redirect them outwards and there is the issue of feeling fuzzy headed, that doesn't exactly facilitate clear thinking. And for the past few months, this day of fuzzy headedness as coincided with bin day and I've reversed over the bin ... thankfully bin day is tomorrow :o)

I have just one last pressing matter to attend to - the issue of mopping under my desk and giving the desk top a thorough clean before smudging the entire area. To bring this to completion, gratefully, doesn't require brain power, just a few minutes of muscle power. The introspective nature of my thoughts bodes well for finding, harnessing and then releasing all the negative energy.

The cleansing of this area is a huge achievement for someone who is an eternal procrastinator and fudger of deadlines. It will be a very purifying purge for both myself and this work space - soon to be creative space, tonight.

Artwork: Kernaling by Gerry Zeck

Moon Blood: Part One - Honouring our bleeding

Like most women, I was hoodwinked from a very early age into believing that menstruation was something dirty and shameful, something secretive. Michelle Royce writes,


"For generations we have been taught by our society and our peers that the fact our bodies bleed each month, is nothing more than a primitive, unpleasant and inconvenient side effect of the way our species reproduces itself, which should not in anyway affect or interfere with out 'real' lives ..... We are encouraged to ignore, suppress and sanitise any emotions, discomfort or evidence of menstruation."
Moon Rites: A feminine path to power


I never knew, until recently, that it could be a beautiful, empowering and amazing monthly event. My re-education began slowly, through tidbits of wisdom and experiences shared as I sat with my birthing friends, breastfeeding our ever growing babies. It is my hope that over the course of the next year I can share my journey and the wisdom I have collected along the way. Our monthly moon flow is what makes us women ... it is our essence and to deny it, is to deny our true selves. I believe it is time the reclaimed what is rightfully ours.


In the following first installment I challenge the notion we all carry that a woman's monthly bleeding is something to hide and feel ashamed of, by suggesting ways in which women can honour this time.


Bleeding Beautifully

This is not an oxymoron - you can do this. Following are thirteen suggestions for honouring and nurturing this time in simple but beautiful ways.


1. Rename your period to something that is meaningful, empowering and true to the nature - 'moon time', 'bleeding time' - whatever works for you.

2. Chart your cycle so you know when you are expected to bleed and don't schedule high energy activities - such as big work projects, a mountain bike weekened away etc. This will allow you to plan for a downshift for a couple of days. If need be - colour those days red on your calendar or in your diary to remind yourself. A Moon Diary is the perfect way to record your cycles, energy ebbs and flows.

3. Rest - sleep in, sloth about, especially on days two or three - though as you get to know your cycle, and energy ebbs and flows you will know which day is most important for you to rest.

4. Nurture yourself - soak in a warm bath, drink herbal tea, slow down, eat warming and nourishing foods and put your needs first - especially if they come behind everyone else's for the rest of the month. The world will not stop turning ... and infact, resting and nurturing will recharge you for the coming month - you will see the difference and so will those around you who demand your time and energy.

5. Light a red candle each day of your bleeding time

6. Wear a special red necklack, bracelet or ring

7. Wear a special piece of red clothing - a top, a skirt, a scarf or a funky pair of red knickers and bra

8. Use cloth pads instead of tampons or disposable pads. See here and here. Use the blood to fertilise your garden, flower box or pots of herbs. This is what blood and bone fertiliser is trying to emullate but simply can't come close to.

9. Do a special mediatation such as Katherine Cunningham's Temple of the Blood Cd to assist in reclaiming the experience of ancient ritual around menstruation.

10. Read a book that celebrates menstruation and debunks the current attitudes surrounding menstraution such as The Red Tent, Womens Bodies Womens Wisdom and if you struggle with extreme pain around this time The Wild Genie. There is also a collection of empowering online articles published in Down to Birth. A list of other books will follow in subsequent postings.

11. Indulge your creativity - sew, bake, dance, drum, paint, collage, scrap book, bead a necklace - whatever gets your creative juices flowing. If you're an outdoor person, take time out in nature through a gentle bush walk or go to your favourite water hall or creek.

12. Write down and ceremonially burn anything that you want to let go of from the previous month - this is a powerful time to cleanse and renew. Doing this simple ritual will allow you to begin anew at the end of your bleeding. Remember to write down positive thoughts, actions or ideas to replace those that you have left go. Place these wishes in a safe place or plant them in a fertile part of the garden to "grow".

13. Create a small space in your home that honours menstruation as a central and important part of your life. This could be something as simple as gathering together photos of your mother, grandmother, great grandmother etc in one place. These women represent your motherline and collecting them in the one place honours this line to which you belong. Be creative and have fun in creating this space. You may like to burn your red candle among these photos or other symbolic objects or keep your wishes here.

Feeling confronted ...
I too was confronted as my previous beliefs around menstruation were challenged by the small bits of wisdom that I exposed to initially and then the large chunks of information and wisdom I came across in my Women's Rites of Passage course. How could I possibly wear a pad and not a tampon - urgh!? How could anyone celebrate something so shameful and dirty? Why would I want to talk to anyone about this? I'm adventurous by nature though, and very curious so I was willing to give all of this new hullaballoo a go and once I was on my new path there was definitely no getting off it.

The confrontation we feel and experience when we are exposed to wisdom on menstruating is like throwing open heavy curtains, in a dark room, on a bright day. Our first instinctive reaction is to shut our eyes, squint or to throw our hands up to shield our eyes from the lights blazing into the room - our first reaction is to protect the status quo. Over time our eyes begin to adjust to the new light until we can comfortably and easily see in the room again ... and it was if nothing had changed. We develop and become a part of a new status quo.

This is how adaptable our biology is and in this sense our biology requires our beliefs, thoughts and customs to be adaptable to be truly one with our biological processes. Remember that the manner in which we think and act towards menstruation is relatively new in the history of humankind - in the past it was revered, it was celebrated, it was social and it was special ... and it can be again. We deny ourselves when we ignore, supress and sanitise our menstruation.

Share this wisdom with your friends, daughters, sisters, mothers or work colleagues - just hit the email button at the bottom of this post.

How do you feel about sharing?
How do your friends/family/colleagues feel about this information?
Is the undercurrent of shame strong or weak?

If possible try and find a small group of women to make a monthly pact with to do something from this list next time your menstruate. If all else fails do it yourself and then share your experiences with others. When you acknowledge and name something, you make it real. When you treat something as special it becomes special ... and then wonderful manifestations really do happen. You deserve it!