Story telling

This is my 200th post! Pretty exciting stuff. I've decided to revisit, as part of a new eBook project on reclaiming sex after birth, my Summer editorial from Down to Birth. Happy two hundred blog posts to me and may the light continue to shine the path less travelled ....

Story telling is as old as antiquity, as old as both written and spoken language. I believe, it is one of the building blocks of what makes us quintessentially human. At the Goddess conference last year, I literally took to heart the charge given to us, to go out, each of us and tell our stories as women. This seemed to be a truly divine and special charge. I was a bit slow to realise that this really isn’t such a new thing for me.

I belonged for four years, to a community of women who regularly, boldly, honestly and bravely shared their stories as women. Many women from this community are still close and special friends. I also edited for three years a magazine that is unique for regularly printing homebirth stories, in a climate that projects and promotes birth as a fearful and dangerous medical event. It shouldn’t have seemed such an important task to ‘go out and share my story’ – but it was, it was my invitation to leave the world in which I felt safe and comfortable and to embark on a journey as a writer.

Julia Cameron, author of ‘The Artist’s Way’ says that sharing truth is like shining the light into the darkness. I have discovered that not everyone wants you, much less applauds your efforts, to shine the light of truth - not everyone wants you to tell your story.

It’s tough because those closest to us, their stories are intimately entwined with our own and you can’t help but share parts of their stories when you tell your own. It is inevitable that you will hold up a mirror to those around you when you share your story – what they see is their reflection. Often what people do is project what they see back onto you, and this is where I believe we become unstuck. When sometime strikes a chord in us, or we feel challenged, wounded or hut, we need to look into ourselves to see what it is, rather than seek to lash out. I’ve been there, and I have done it. Now I pause before I react to try and understand what it is in ME, not in THEM that I'm interacting with.

I understand now why we have created mythology, fables and fairy tales. In fiction there is a safety to share wisdom and insights without upsetting others. I also appreciate why it is so damn difficult to share our stories as women and why it essential, despite the opposition, that we must tell our stories. My fiction is steeped in my own life fiction – there is a little or a lot of me, my life, my trials and tribulations in everything that I write. Those close to me will see whatis fiction, what is fantasy and what is the place between.

There is a safety in writing fiction to explore the places less traveled, and as my friend Catherine pointed out, there is also a safety in reading fiction, to explore both the dark and light places. As writers, when we shine our light, we have no idea how far that small beam will shine or just what it will light on it's way.

(Revised extract from The Down to Birth Summer editorial ‘Sex After Birth)

Looking for the Divine

If you would learn

the secret

of right relations

look only for the divine

in people and things

and leave all the rest to God*

- J Allen Boone -

Kinship with all Life

I dont believe in tradition notions of 'God' - but I can believe in the workings of the Universe, in serendipity and in energy.

At this point in time I would prefer to leave it 'all' to the Universe to sort out - as old demons and new demons crawl from the abyss of the psyche and blood to revisit all manner of things best left alone - that however seemed to have been ferreted out, and tossed out in a merry Spring cleaning effort.

I read earlier either on Mystic's blog or Astro Rave about there being a feeling of finality in the air as Pluto gets ready to move into the sign of Capricorn ... and with all that's come to head here in the past 24 hours there is a certain sense of that.

There is also a sense of all this wisdom that has been gifted over this week, in the guise of quotes that all seems to make so much sense now. I understand now that I have been at the mercy of the expectations and demands of others, and as I have attempted to move away from that, into my own space and my own Truth, it has rocked the boats of those around me. When you shift energy, it shifts not just for yourself but those that you are connected with. As Newton said 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction' ... and I've come to see and experience that all to clearly in the past day. Change is just change - its only a loss when those close to you want to keep the status quo alive and kicking - only then is change a loss.

I have had my Truth tossed into the firey forge and it has emerged shaken, but still in tact. I'm amazed at my ability to remain grounded in the maelstrom and to continue to believe in my words, my story and my conviction to share both. I can understand now why it is so difficult to stand up and tell your Truth - especially when it is closely woven with those of your family or your friends. When you stand to tell your truth you cannot help but tell their stories too - and not everyone wants to have their stories told. So pressure grows to keep everyone happy, to perpetuate the silence so no one is hurt, no one is angry and the status quo remains. When you supress your Truth to keep others happy part of you dies inside and its a slow, painful and miserable death - a cancer of dishonesty to yourself, until one day you wake up and you can't remember who you are any more. Someone in amongst the pressure to supress, you have to honour your own story - find a middle road some how .. to find Temperance - balance! This is my challenge now.

It makes me more adament and more passionate about continuing to share my story - to continue to hone my Truth and share it. The more woman who stand and share their stories, who stand in their Truth and be glorious, to be in their own authentic skins, the more women will be inspired to stand too and share their stories, to find their Truths. And when women do this, we'll all be fighting against the Shadows that strive to keep women silent - because women are their own worst enemies.

More Remedios Varo - this time "The Calling" or "One Who is called" - upon doing a little research I discovered that we share a birthday - though with her passing in 1963 we were never alive in the same year to celebrate. I'm not suprised that I was drawn to her artwork now.