Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Year of the Rat



Happy New Year ...

Yes - I know that I am a little late to be declaring a new year. Last Thursday was the Chinese New Year (second new moon after the Nth Hemisphere Winter Solstice) and the beginning of the 12 year Chinese astrological cycle. It was also a solar eclipse.

Stupidly I was awaiting something HUGE to happen on Thursday - then on Friday and Saturday as the eclipse energy hung around. But there was nothing. Big anticlimax- or was it?


I spent the five weeks between the calendar New Year and the Chinese New Year getting 'my house in order' so to speak. I pulled down my office space, cleansed it all on planes and then bit by bit went about re-building it into a creative space. The curtains are still to be hemmed and hung, and my Goddess calendar is awaiting a new nail in the wall - but it feels much more like a creative space. I can't wait to add the final embellishment, the flashing purple lights from IKEA - bought months ago but were obviously waiting for some renovating to happen first! This is really an area that I feel I can create in now.

There was also the family flare up that made me re-evaluate who I am, where I fit into my family picture, who I want to be, what I want to aspire to and what is my Truth. I feel more in touch with me now - and I believe, as foretold my Truth, like a sword as been put through the forge, hardened and ready to go to work.


Then there's the magazine. I pulled together the last magazine, with all manner of hitches and glitches along the way (thank you Dan for sharing last minute artwork to fill spaces that appeared at the last moment!) but on Wednesday night the final copy was printed off, sitting on my desk awaiting hand over. I even managed to work out to coax my burner into working and have been in the process of burning off all the files for a complete transfer (and for a thorough deleting of all the files from my computer) It was the end of an era for me - I've been working on the magazine for three years, and have been at the editorial helm for two and a half of those years. I'm viewing the letting go of the magazine as a composting process. I need to share the skills and short cuts, my network and ideas with the new magazine team, and rather than feeling suffocated by this responsiblity, I'm viewing it as a gracious decaying process - whereby I transfer all my fertile ideas onto the next crew so the magazine can continue to blossom in their guardianship. I can live with that.



And then Thursday - there was the first day of kindy. After months of worry (on my part - not Dylan's!) it was an easy good bye - not tears, no tantrums just a simple 'bye Mum' and my heart tore asunder! Did I want tears and tantrums? On one level yes, but on the practical level no! And feeling strangely free and light I got in the car and came home - put on my Max Sharam CD which would not have been listened to in years (I doubt in the five and a half years that Dave and I have been together). The house seemed empty and full at the same time.


I also finally feel like I am up to the energy and insight of blogging after a hiatus of two or more weeks. I decided that creating limits like 'I must blog every day' weren't going to serve my needs. A holiday is always welcomed and after what was a really intense month of January, was glad not to be up at the computer late at night ... instead enjoying being horizontal.


So Thursday, the New Year and the solar eclipse did herald major events, ends and beginnings - it was just that they were part of an ongoing process, endings and beginnings I had been planning for a long time. Because they didn't come out of the blue and suprise me - shouldn't not detract from their value. And perhaps I should be incredibly grateful for this. I think it means that I am getting my act together, knowing the path that I should be on, the one that makes me happy - and walking it. I know this is going to be a big year and I feel that I am ready for it. Bring it on ....

1 comment:

Paul said...

I did that to my own mum on the first day of school. My name was called, and without looking back, not even a "goodbye", I marched over to where my teacher was standing...

Happy (Chinese) New Year by the way! I will get round to responding to the Roar soon - I'm so behind myself at the moment. Haven't responded to any commenters on my last FF, haven't even READ the last lot of FF entries!

Sad to say life got in the road...