Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Treading Water

The last few weeks have been utterly frustrating. I'm not getting the amount of writing or editing work done, and the new writing gig that I have as Type A Mom's breastfeeding editor (which involves a weekly column/article) has already lost it's shine.

Combine this with a two month long school holiday for my son and I feel as though I'm going around the twist. I feel like a caged animal. My sleep is interrupted, I'm nasty and crabby and in the last two days my mind has clouded and I'm struggling to put together coherent thoughts ... all the time just reminding myself to breathe and that this will soon pass - just not fast enough for me.

I'm terrified that I will fall into a writing funk like I did in the middle of last year. Is it wrong to want to sit down (to be able to sit down!) and write and for something, anything to come out? Is it wrong to need to sit down, with a clear head and try to make a piece of work better?

Part of me wonders if I was just too damn ambitious to think I could put together an anthology of my short stories. And then to have infected my fellow writers with the idea?

It's probably a good thing that I'm doing The Artist Way and that I have the support, encouragement and love of my cluster if I really do hit rock bottom (which I'm hoping wont happen this year - seeings I've got a few Plan, B's C's and D's to get me through.) And the focus is one breaking through walls and barriers. Perhaps I'll find the reason behind these creative melancholies. Maybe it will be passing thing with the end of the school holidays and the return of some personal space. I'm dying for my Artist Date on Friday and already becoming precious about my time again, as I was last year when my son first started kindy.

For now - just write something every day ... no matter how small it is. Just to write something every day. In doing that I will tread creative water until I can begin to move forwards again.

Image from via Peanutbutterandcigarettes

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