Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Circle of the Sun: Hail Scorpio

Tonight was the Circle of the Sun ... this time in broody and intense Scorpio. The theme of tonight's gathering and the focus for our creative endeavours was the masks that we wear. Alex also spoke about the inner child, the artist we have when we are young and the censure that comes with adulthood (all themes of The Artist Way - that I'm now half way through!) To simply 'do the creative' and not 'think the creative.' About being in and part of the process, and not worried about the end product.

In the meditation we went deep into a primeval forest and to a pool of water. Beneath the light of a full moon, we had to look at the reflection in the water. I couldn't get myself to look into the water, and when I finally did it took forever for a reflection to emerge. When it did it was an ancient old crone, with her head covered. I didn't look away, I kept looking at her.

When we came out of the meditation, I wondered what the crone was telling me. She's been coming up quite a bit for me recently. I wondered, tying it in with Dan's comments on my natal chart over the weekend, if the crone was reminding me that I needed to dig deep, to find maturity and wisdom.

With the template of the mask in my hand ... I knew what I wanted to create. I wanted to create a bright, brash red mask ... I was drawn to the sacred whore, though this wasn't what I had seen in the pool. The face of the sacred whore is certainly not a mask that I am wearing at the moment, nor have worn for a very long time.

Exploring the art supplies, including a box of material remnants, I found some red material, along with some sequined red ribbon. It seemed like a good place to start. Looking at the template, I felt stuck ... blocked. It just didn't seem to go together. Looking across I saw some red tissue paper ... and I finally got it.

I began the creation of my mask, by drawing cat's ears onto the top of the template .. and felt as though I was creating a 'sex kitten' mask ... it seeemd to neatly symbolise the modern embodiment of the whore, and Mystic was talking about cat's being super edgy and spooky at the moment.

The tearing of each long strip of tissue paper was cathartic ... the trearing felt as though I was stripping the sexual wounds free of myself - disembodying them, so to speak. Then tearing each strip into its own little unit ... I symbolically created all the sexual wounds that I carry within. Once all the paper was torn up, I began to piece by piece, stick the paper, collage style over the mask. It represented a healing, a coming together, putting all the pieces together to create something new. Putting myself back together, if you like.

Over the 45 minutes, I just managed to cover the small mask with paper ... and then was stuck deciding on how to 'decorate' it. Around me there were all types of magnificent masks being born, and my small red mask seemed a little insignificant and quite plain in comparison. I reminded myself that this was about process ... all those small pieces of tissues paper stuck together.

I found some little silver stars, and glued nine of them on ... nine to honour the gifts of Aphrodite, that still seem to abound weeks after the Goddess conference.

With a stick stuck to the back, we joined back in the circle to dance a masquarade ball. It was thrilling, crazy, spooky and utterly out of this world ... can only imagine what it is like to actually be dressed for it as well.

Looking at my mask, I now, I need to find some falsh eye lashes ... put them on the other eye and then perhaps some black feathers and a coil of black ribbon down the same side.

It made me realise, just how important art is as a means and mode for healing. Perhaps this is the creative work that I have been looking for to base my sexual wounds healing circle around? This tearing, and reconfiguring .. taking from in here and putting it out there. Being in the right brain and out of the left brain ... allowing myself to be totally and utterly open, to be healing without consciously realising just what was happening.

My life continues to be truly blessed .... photo to follow tomorrow

1 comment:

Dalissa 365 said...

Wow. I guess this is a week of the beginning of healing. It's amazing that this is all coinciding with the AW. I have stuff to say but think i"ll post it in the cluster since I don't want to expose my wounds to the world.