Saturday, May 3, 2008

Silver Linings

Image by Amy&Kimball

Every cloud has a silver lining they say, and that about sums up my week (even though technically it hasn't finished). This week has been a week of facing up to challenges and rather than trying to 'fix' them - to just 'be' with them.

Dylan has found the transition back into kindy difficult - more difficult than the original one at the start of the year. I guess what we had going for us in February was he didn't realise what he would be losing out on by going to kindy. Wednesday was his second day back after out holiday and there was no way I could leave him. He clung to me so hard, crying and begging me to 'please take me too' that I did the unthinkable and gave in. I wasn't sure if he was sick (he'd been unwell the night before but appeared OK that morning) and it was easier for all if I just didn't leave him.

It meant cancelling my date with Annie to go to the movies - it meant that I didn't do a whole heap of things that I wanted to do ... and I could feel my antagonism rising. I was wallowing - dying to have just a little time to myself after what seemed a month of non stop demands with sickness and then holidays (I hadn't realised how much I had needed kindy time to unwind after three and a bit years of intense mothering).

Then I read Dan's blog on Wednesday night and I was pulled back into all the things that mattered. It reminded me that transistions are painful (anyone woman who has given birth will tell you all about transition!) but you come out of them empowered and ready to take on the world again.

To help with the transition on Thursday I stayed at kindy for an hour - until Dylan was well into playing with his friends in the sandpit. In doing that I got to see how the morning opens at kindy - the time on the mat, the learning of the days of the week, checking the weather and dressing their friend Wilbur the cat in appropriate clothing. I got to hear about the letters that they are learning (through the Letterland system) and got to meet a whole heap of kids that I didn't know previously, or got to put names with faces.

It was heart wrenching to walk off and hear him crying, or Friday to drive off and see his kindy teacher picking him up for a hug. The stress of it all has culminated in what seemed like an endless headache that threatened to crack my skull in half (and I dont take painkillers - and it would be pointless in this instance because I knew exactly what was causing it) and four days of nausea. Today thankfully - there is none (but the mention brings back shadows of both).

With any luck there will be less tears, less dramas next week ... and after the next lot of school holidays we'll be more aware of what to expect. But in retrospect, with no kindy day tomorrow and sans headache - I can see and appreciate the gifts of this week.


Wild Iris said...

Transitions are incredibly difficult, but you are right, we do come out empowered on the other side. You will, but Dylan will too.

Jodi Cleghorn said...

Thank you for reminding me that Dylan will also feel more in himself at the end of all of this.

But its not as if life is clearly defined in stages ... just shades of grey always transiting ... just that some transits are more obvious and difficult I guess.

Catherine said...

Is the movie that you would like to see with Annie still playing?