My past arrived today. No I am serious - it did literally arrive today. The courier dropped the boxes at the door about 10:00am and in both the boxes is history. The larget box contains my mother and father dining setting, which was an engagement present. It was a full set for 18 years - until I was 15, too lazy to open up the door of the linen press where the towels were, reached through and dragged a towel across and took the sugar bowl, milk jug and one other piece with it. They fell to the concrete floor and broke into tiny pieces. I wasn't popular as you could guess - and I was mortified by what I had done. I learnt my lesson and always opened the correct door for the towels after that.
The smaller box contained all my journals and diaries - back to my diary when I was 13! And reading that was a laugh and cringe-fest ... I never thought I was THAT obsessed with boys, but its all there in black and white, or green, purple, blue. And it was so '80s as the following photos of the insides of my diary will atest to!
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little comment that I've scrawled on the second cartoon (as I only ever studied to be smart and top the class - I was never actually interested in money!)
Thankfully the diaries do get 'better' the further on in years we go - less drivel about who I am enamoured with on TV and more about what I was seeing, hearing, feeling thinking.
I'm glad that over the years I stuck momentos away in them - paper clippings of my favourite bands, photos, cards, envelopes, notes - there are even petals from the very first rose that I ever got on Valentines Day in one diary (circa 1993 and his name was Sid, and we'd gone to high school together).
In the diary preceeding (1992) are two $20 (paper)notes that I asked an old boyfriend to keep for me when I had to go to hospital in a hurry for an eye operation back in 1992. I ran out of the ward once I finally got admitted, in my nighty, with the money in my hand. I would have done anything to have kept him there with my in Melbourne - I was all alone, facing a major operation and without friends or family with me. But I let him go. I knew he was already going to have to do some explaining to Miranda and his mates. I've been bloody broke at periods in my life, but I NEVER took that $40 and used it - knowing that he was the last person to have that money.
I can still remember the car trip with him to the Royal Eye and Ear Hospital Melbourne. We'd broken up about two weeks earlier but I needed to get to Melbourne and two days before New Years Eve everyone, including my parents, were out of town and I was unable to drive myself. He was my last resort and I had to literally search him out and interupt a lunch he was having with mates in the Mall.
The radio station we listening to was counting down the all time best 100 songs, and When Doves Cry came on ... I remember the patch of highway we were travelling along at the time, looking out at the dry brown hills and feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. He'd left me for a girl who was the antithesis of me - short, strawberry blonde ringlets, miss priss, who was his best mate's sister. He'd know her practially all his life, but she'd waited until I came along to get her manicured talons into him. I felt life was really unfair.
I feel a little more complete knowing that all my diaries are with me once again. They've been in storage at my Mum's place, in a camphorwood chest since 1995, and while a lot of what is in them is painful, there are lots of good memories, simple memories that I am going to enjoy reliving all over again in the coming months.
1 comment:
That was a beautifully worded glimpse into a slice of your personal history, Jodi. I enjoyed every word, and appreciate how difficult parts of it must have been to share.
Please accept my apologies for being such a blog-stranger of late. Life's been crazy. Work's been intense, and we've been wrestling with parents and in-laws who have made an annoying habit of checking into hospitals for all sorts of reasons. Such fun!
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